5 tips for a stress-free wedding or elopement
As someone who has been shooting weddings and elopements for years, I know the difference between a stress-free wedding and one with chaos. You deserve an easy day, that can be remembered forever as fun, joyful, and cherished. So, I’m sharing five tips today on what you can do before the wedding day, to make sure that everything runs smoothly!
The first look
Okay, I know this is not for everyone. But let’s talk about it. If you do opt for a first look, this lets you spend more of your day with your future spouse! And isn’t that what the whole day is all about?!!
As someone who has been shooting weddings and elopements for years, I know the difference between a stress-free wedding and one with chaos. You deserve an easy day, that can be remembered forever as fun, joyful, and cherished. So, I’m sharing five tips today on what you can do before the wedding day, to make sure that everything runs smoothly!
For my wedding, I decided to do a bridal session in Sedona a couple of weeks before the wedding day. This relaxed my nerves A TON, in multiple ways. One, it was a bonus having pictures of us in another location that we could have printed before our wedding day. On top of that, I already had one less thing to worry about and knew that I would get to spend the whole day with my husband!! We even got breakfast together, which is now one of my favorite wedding day memories. It also allowed for more excitement leading up to the celebration and really got us in the headspace for getting married. I am super happy we took this time together and got extra time to enjoy this new chapter!
If the first look isn’t your thing, and you have always dreamed of walking down the aisle and him seeing you for the first time, I WILL NOT STOP YOU. I know a lot of photographers push for the first look these days. But honestly, I think every couple should do what feels the most “them”. Maybe the first look, whether it’s in private or down the aisle, just simply isn’t your thing at all. I think there’s a lot more pressure these days for him to have the perfect reaction, but in reality, most of the time it’s still pretty casual. It all totally depends on the person. I will admit, although I am glad I did a first look with my husband, it was still a little scary and dare I say…a little awkward?? I feel like there was a lot of pressure leading up to the moment, just for him to turn around…and then what? Yes, it was special. But I do think more people should normalize having the first look not be the biggest deal. Obviously, he is going to find you beautiful. Of course, it’s still going to be special. I just have the hot take that it doesn’t have to be the most important thing you decide for your wedding day.
If you do opt for a first look and are worried about it feeling a little awkward, consider having something to do right after! My husband and I exchanged wedding bands we picked out for each other after. This made the moment more special and took a little bit of pressure off the actual first look. You could also exchange private vows, or letters you wrote for each other, or any other type of gift.
And if you’re extra casual…have him go wedding dress shopping with you or help you get ready! Your wedding is entirely up to you. Do what is going to make you the most happy and least stressed.
2. Assign specific tasks
Whether it’s people in your bridal party, or your close family members, assign people a specific role.
People want to help! Giving them a job helps everyone. Certain tasks I recommend assigning:
-One to bring you water (Honestly was the most helpful task on my wedding day)
-One to bring you food
-One to fluff your dress
-One to grab your bouquet and find a place for it when you need to put it down
-One to find and gather the groomsmen (given to a responsible bridesmaid)
-One to take extra pictures and behind the scenes
-One to help clean up your stuff before you leave and make sure everything is in order
-Someone to interrupt and say they need you if a guest tries talking to you for too long!
-Someone to keep time!
-Bathroom helper!!! This is also necessary if you’re changing dresses for a reception
-One to pass out thank you note or tip if you choose to all your vendors before they leave
3. Set Clear Boundaries
Make sure you set clear boundaries BEFORE your wedding day. I know this one is sooooo hard, but I promise you it will be worth it. If you are suspicious of something happening, make it clear to the persons involved your expectations beforehand.
With weddings, you unfortunately really do get to see people’s true colors. We hope people have the best intentions and truly care about celebrating the bride and groom, but sadly that is not always the case.
This is one thing I really had to learn throughout the process of wedding planning. It was hard, but it did get easier.
I do regret not setting more clear expectations with my family of what was okay on my wedding day, and some stuff happened that was a bit inappropriate.
I wished for the best, but things would have gone a lot more smoothly if I had set the boundary from the beginning.
Don’t let others ruin your day.
It’s the one day all about you, and as much as other people may think otherwise, there is no room for that at a wedding.
4. Stay hydrated and fed!
You need to schedule into your timeline and before the wedding even starts, when you will eat!
Make sure you eat a big healthy, filling breakfast in the morning, in case the day gets rushed (which it will be) and you have less time to get those bites in.
It’s so important to be hydrated and fed!
I’ve had brides feel sick or faint at their reception and it’s not fun!
Force yourself to get at least something in, recruit someone to keep bringing it to you, and keep on drinking water!!!
5. Check your Vendors
Make sure you hire vendors who are experienced and have backups in case of emergencies and other issues.
This will help ease your nerves on the wedding day. You don’t need any added stress!
Also make sure you hire people who are professional and will be proactive in handling anything that goes wrong on your wedding day.
Problems are inevitable at a wedding. I once had an individual vomit in the middle of an aisle I created for an exit. I immediately instructed the party to move to another exit door close by, and got the mess cleaned up.
Stuff happens but work with people who will take action instead of stressing you about it.
Not only should you check your outside vendors but get clear expectations from your venue as well.
I once had a bride who was told the DAY BEFORE THE WEDDING that the inside area they planned on using was still under construction. They ended up having a tent by the outside area they were able to use, but still not ideal!
I’ve heard other stories of construction issues and what the venue said it would look like, and then it being another. I have also heard several stories of venues accidentally double booking.
Double check your venue policies and compensation in the event of an incident. Find potential back up venues, just in case!
Images from Calli Ellsworth Photography
I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t worry about it too hard. It will be the happiest day of your life. Something always goes “wrong” at weddings, sometimes big and sometimes small. Just be prepared to embrace it and know that you can’t always control it.
If you focus on celebrating your love with your partner, all will be well.
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